Guys need hugs too
I blog surf quite a bit lately and there are a lot of women out there who use these journals as a form of therapy for the hurt in their lives. I think it's a good thing. It gets it all out in the open and helps in the healing process. Well! I just wanted to point out that you women DON'T have the market cornered in this area. There are some of us guys who need a little lovin' too.
Case in point; I work on Sat. nights during this month at a haunted hayride. We got rained out last night so I came up with a brilliant plan to make it a fun night anyway. I suprised my wife and said, "Hey! Lets go out to dinner". Thinking that would be a great idea. The very FIRST comment out of her mouth was, "How are we going to get a sitter", "the girl next door is at a party and you know aunt Jean doesn't like driving in the rain and besides that, we can't afford it"
Now,, just to let you know,, we go out to dinner MAYBE once or twice a year IF that! I just thought that taking my wife of 17 years out to dinner would be a nice way to spend an evening together for a change. We don't get the opportunity that often.
Why is it that when I DO try to be romantic or try to make plans to have a wonderful time with just her, That she always finds a reason to NOT want to be with me. I'm really not a bad guy. I love my wife but she could care less about wanting to be with me. Everyone tells me I should try wining and dining her. Well! This won't work if she doesn't want to be with me. I've tried everything. Last year my dad gave me some money to take her out for our anniverasary and She did the same thing. I thought about paying bills with it but instead I called her best friend and gave her the money to take my wife out. I knew she needed a night out but I knew she would have a better time if I wasn't there. My wife didn't hesitate for a second at the opportunity. She made plans 4 days in advance and had a sitter in a matter of hours.
DAM! Give me a break. All I want is my wife to WANT me again. I'm at a loss here. And don't even ask about the sex part. She makes the same excuses. The first thing she does when I get into bed is turn her back to me. I don't really think she does it to hurt me, she just does it for comfort, or so she says. It WOULD be nice to have her roll over and put her arm on my chest, lay her head on my shoulder and give me a squeeze once in a while though. I miss that. I wonder sometimes if a friend of hers ever asked to have sex if she wouldn't hesitate at that too???
How can a hard working, loving husband get her spouse to want him again? Please don't answer that. I really don't want a hoard of comments on how to win my wife back. I don't need therapy or advice. I just want to be held.
SO.... If you read some of my racy stories and think I'm cheating,, I'm not. I want my wife. But I wish I could have my cake and eat it too sometimes. I have 5 beautiful children and will never do anything to bring harm or discomfort to their lives but I want a woman to love me. I read about so many women in the same boat as me and I wonder if I'm the only guy sometimes.
Any of you women want to hook up??? We could exchange hugs!
I miss that!
Case in point; I work on Sat. nights during this month at a haunted hayride. We got rained out last night so I came up with a brilliant plan to make it a fun night anyway. I suprised my wife and said, "Hey! Lets go out to dinner". Thinking that would be a great idea. The very FIRST comment out of her mouth was, "How are we going to get a sitter", "the girl next door is at a party and you know aunt Jean doesn't like driving in the rain and besides that, we can't afford it"
Now,, just to let you know,, we go out to dinner MAYBE once or twice a year IF that! I just thought that taking my wife of 17 years out to dinner would be a nice way to spend an evening together for a change. We don't get the opportunity that often.
Why is it that when I DO try to be romantic or try to make plans to have a wonderful time with just her, That she always finds a reason to NOT want to be with me. I'm really not a bad guy. I love my wife but she could care less about wanting to be with me. Everyone tells me I should try wining and dining her. Well! This won't work if she doesn't want to be with me. I've tried everything. Last year my dad gave me some money to take her out for our anniverasary and She did the same thing. I thought about paying bills with it but instead I called her best friend and gave her the money to take my wife out. I knew she needed a night out but I knew she would have a better time if I wasn't there. My wife didn't hesitate for a second at the opportunity. She made plans 4 days in advance and had a sitter in a matter of hours.
DAM! Give me a break. All I want is my wife to WANT me again. I'm at a loss here. And don't even ask about the sex part. She makes the same excuses. The first thing she does when I get into bed is turn her back to me. I don't really think she does it to hurt me, she just does it for comfort, or so she says. It WOULD be nice to have her roll over and put her arm on my chest, lay her head on my shoulder and give me a squeeze once in a while though. I miss that. I wonder sometimes if a friend of hers ever asked to have sex if she wouldn't hesitate at that too???
How can a hard working, loving husband get her spouse to want him again? Please don't answer that. I really don't want a hoard of comments on how to win my wife back. I don't need therapy or advice. I just want to be held.
SO.... If you read some of my racy stories and think I'm cheating,, I'm not. I want my wife. But I wish I could have my cake and eat it too sometimes. I have 5 beautiful children and will never do anything to bring harm or discomfort to their lives but I want a woman to love me. I read about so many women in the same boat as me and I wonder if I'm the only guy sometimes.
Any of you women want to hook up??? We could exchange hugs!
I miss that!
posted by Doublebogie at 9:27 AM
6 Comments:
found you through a comment at snav's world. read through several of your posts. feelin' your pain.
I'll exchange hugs with you! You know that! XOXOXO
have you ever taken your wife by the shoulders and shouted into her face "i love you, i want you i miss you and i need you."?
Hugs given freely. Advice too, but you don't need that right now.
A fantasy is not an infidelity, but it doesn't always help.
x & o
I think "me" is right, that might just be the thing. but yeah, you don't want advise. I think (being female) she might really be worried about money, kids, stresses and feels you are not taking the problems seriously. However, I also think she needs to learn from you on how to make a situation better, I know because I am a lot like her it sounds like. Did she know that you gave her friend the money? Is she afraid of another pregnancy?
I hope things get better for you. Here's a hug and I'll send warm thoughts that you get more intimacy...every marriage thrives so much better with that. I never had that problem in my marriage...at least he and I can say that but we're divorced never the less.
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