What's wrong with these guys?
I just don't get it! I've been blog surfing for a few months now and I still can't seem to get by that all present subject of women who are so sad and hurt. What the hell is wrong with you guys?!!!
I've met and read about so many intelligent, witty, sensative, well read, and most of all sexy women. Is it just because this is their private blog that they can exagerate their stories about their significant others or are there THAT many stupid guys out there.
Don't get me wrong, I love my wife very much but things aren't like they used to be lately. I read about so many women who want to please their men and the guys don't respond to any kind of advancements from them. DAM! If my wife ever came onto me I think I'd have a heart attack. I'd give anything for her to be one shred of the women I meet here. There are so many girls out there who want to be wanted, my wife not included.
I must admit there are way too many guys out there who are just plain idiots. I work with many of them. The only thing they talk about is Nascar and hunting. They never mention their kids or their homelife. It's like they can't wait till the kids grow up so they can be whom or what they wanted to be,, like it's an inconvenience for 18 years. Shit! I'm a career dad with 5 kids. My oldest is 15 and my youngest is 2. I'm 47 now and I'm going to be in my 60's when the little one graduates high school. I don't mind though. I just want my wife to be there for me too. It's like she forgot about me.
Is this normal??? The way it seems is that she won't come back around to me after the kids are grown and gone, which bothers me because I firmly believe it's another one of her plots to stay away from me. I think she figures that I'll be old enough to not want her that much by then. Am I crazy or does sex stop before 50? She could care less about it. FOR REAL! I am so in need of being wanted. I want to be loved back. I really believe that the only reason I exist here is for lawn care and car repair. If I bring up the subject of sex to her, her answer is always, "Do you have to start that again?" Well excuse me!!! It's only been 3 months!
I'm whining now and for that I apologize. Is it so wrong to be wanted? Is it wrong to want to have sex with my own wife? She's a very good looking woman and she still turns me on and I let her know that but when I say nice things to her,, or just give her a hug and maybe a kiss, she automaticly thinks I want sex. Well, I have to admit, most of the time I do but is that wrong???? To be wanted by your husband? Is it wrong?? I know plenty of guys whom after 17 years of marriage are bored with their wives. The problem I have is that I still want her. I still thinks she is sexy.
Would someone give me a clue? And don't tell me you sympathize with her because of so many kids. I'm well aware of that and give her all the space she needs in that matter. I work 2 and sometimes 3 jobs so my life is just as hectic. I just want to know if there is anyone else who has kids that still want to be with their husbands.
I even tried flowers at one point and she bitched me out for spending the money. I never bought her flowers again.
Someone please help me. Am I one of those asshole guys that you women so frequently talk about or am I alone? If I'm not alone then please forgive me and disregard this post.
I've met and read about so many intelligent, witty, sensative, well read, and most of all sexy women. Is it just because this is their private blog that they can exagerate their stories about their significant others or are there THAT many stupid guys out there.
Don't get me wrong, I love my wife very much but things aren't like they used to be lately. I read about so many women who want to please their men and the guys don't respond to any kind of advancements from them. DAM! If my wife ever came onto me I think I'd have a heart attack. I'd give anything for her to be one shred of the women I meet here. There are so many girls out there who want to be wanted, my wife not included.
I must admit there are way too many guys out there who are just plain idiots. I work with many of them. The only thing they talk about is Nascar and hunting. They never mention their kids or their homelife. It's like they can't wait till the kids grow up so they can be whom or what they wanted to be,, like it's an inconvenience for 18 years. Shit! I'm a career dad with 5 kids. My oldest is 15 and my youngest is 2. I'm 47 now and I'm going to be in my 60's when the little one graduates high school. I don't mind though. I just want my wife to be there for me too. It's like she forgot about me.
Is this normal??? The way it seems is that she won't come back around to me after the kids are grown and gone, which bothers me because I firmly believe it's another one of her plots to stay away from me. I think she figures that I'll be old enough to not want her that much by then. Am I crazy or does sex stop before 50? She could care less about it. FOR REAL! I am so in need of being wanted. I want to be loved back. I really believe that the only reason I exist here is for lawn care and car repair. If I bring up the subject of sex to her, her answer is always, "Do you have to start that again?" Well excuse me!!! It's only been 3 months!
I'm whining now and for that I apologize. Is it so wrong to be wanted? Is it wrong to want to have sex with my own wife? She's a very good looking woman and she still turns me on and I let her know that but when I say nice things to her,, or just give her a hug and maybe a kiss, she automaticly thinks I want sex. Well, I have to admit, most of the time I do but is that wrong???? To be wanted by your husband? Is it wrong?? I know plenty of guys whom after 17 years of marriage are bored with their wives. The problem I have is that I still want her. I still thinks she is sexy.
Would someone give me a clue? And don't tell me you sympathize with her because of so many kids. I'm well aware of that and give her all the space she needs in that matter. I work 2 and sometimes 3 jobs so my life is just as hectic. I just want to know if there is anyone else who has kids that still want to be with their husbands.
I even tried flowers at one point and she bitched me out for spending the money. I never bought her flowers again.
Someone please help me. Am I one of those asshole guys that you women so frequently talk about or am I alone? If I'm not alone then please forgive me and disregard this post.
posted by Doublebogie at 10:08 AM
15 Comments:
Awe, sweetie, no it's not wrong to 'want her' in that way. She is your wife!
Yeah, kids get in the way yada yada yada- and fricken YADA-- but there is always time for a little extra ~ in the bedroom.
I'm not the perfect person to speak to regarding this, because I sort of face the same issues too. The one thing I can say which has helped is 'communicating' ALL of your thoughts with her. Tell her that you truly find her attractive and you feel deprived because you literally can't have the woman you want.
It was very brutal of her to get upset over the flowers. Ugh- I LOVE getting flowers from my partner.
We even got a sexual counselor---a therapist for intimacy because we were facing that very same problem.... (actually still sorta kinda) Except, I was the one who was more distant.
Sometimes when couples are together for 10+ years, you have to be creative. You have to start doing things you've never done before. I hope you don't mind me saying this on your blog, BUT,
have sex in the kitchen, buy a really great cologne that will make her head spin, AND------------go online, and purchase this cologne for men---it's human pheremones. DO not tell her what you have on- tell her it's after shave or something. These pheremones are found in humans to attract the opposite sex. I wore the men's version of it (becuase I'm gay) and the women were flocking to me, including my girlfriend.
Go to:
http://www.911healthshop.com/anpherconatm.html
You will not regret it. I have used it- and it has worked.
Please go get this--and let me know what happens!!!
Good luck!
WAIT!
GO TO:
http://www.911healthshop.com/anpherconatw.html
This one is to 'attract women'---the other site I gave was to attract men! OOOOPS!!!!!!!!!! :)
Deb: I've told her all that and it doesn't make a difference. She sees any form of compliment as a come on for intamacy.
About trying to be creative,, How do you try new things when your partner doesn't want to even start at all?
I'm not saying it doesn't happen at all but honestly it's about once every 2 or 3 months at a time. I'm sorry but I can't handle this. I used to feel happy after sex but now I get upset because I know it'll be a while till it happens again. I would love to go for seconds but I usually hear, "Can I go to sleep now",, like it's nothing but another chore for her and not a pleasure.
I guess I'll have to settle for
"loving myself" like I usually do.
LOL
it hurts like hell to want, to love something...or more specifically Someone so damn much. Wish i had some great advice to help but i don't. i've promised myself to not even try again. i never seem to be enough so why bother...i give up.
but hey, did ya see my new puppy?
sends ya hugs just cause.
i'm mixed here. i know all too well how it feels to be unwanted when that is all you wish for. but after a certain amount of time, i began to turn away, and no matter what he tried, it didn't work, it was too late. i certainly don't hope your marriage is over, that's horrible for EVERYONE! It was for me :-(
But I knew when the feelings were gone, and any attempt he made just made me mad or frustrated. little too late. That is why i'm torn in advice.
The only thing i know for sure is, i want to be wanted, and need to be needed and love to be loved (sounds like a song huh?) So I can understand the frustrations you are going through. Know i'm here to listen anytime, i know it's easy to say, "try this, try that", but no two situations are the same and NONE are easy to get through..I'm sorry such a nice, and sensitive, sensual, and sexy thoughts provoking guy is going through this.
I have someone very special in my life...we tell each other everything...I hope it's always like that for us. Except for the "stories" in my secret blog, a lot of the tales are about us. He loves them.
I met him online and we've been on vacation together. I've asked that we not share our romance with the blog world on our real blogs. I don't have to have him prove his love for me or vice versa.
It's hard sometimes living 200 miles from each other but we manage. We love each other. That's what counts, right?
And I'm the luckiest woman I know.
Wish their was an easy solution to all these. Although far from perfect I sometimes wonder if I have one of the best marriages of anyone in cyberspace. I know men who can't get enough attention, women who can't get what they need either.
We are at 15 years, and although I have a slightly more active drive than my man does, we manage to get it worked out to our mutual satisfaction. The sex life is always the thermometer though, if she is not interested in sex, there is probably more to it.
Thanks for all the comments. I appreciate the concern.
Maybe I should just have an affair? What do you think?
Simple equation =
You cheat, you are saying your sex drive in more important than your marriage and your family, your choice. Clearly, I am not in favor.
Get into counselling or something. If you have decided you can't live without it, get divorced THEN find some other action. Your wife and your kids deserve at least not to be betrayed.
(Or if she will go for it, get permission to get some on the side, it works for some people)
Very good point well taken.
Constructive critisizm accepted.
I apologize, that sounded a little harsher than it was intended to be.
Just a matter than recently came up in a real world situation and it is rough, really rough to see good people do so much damage.
I would hate to see anyone else go through that.
I didn't take it harshly. You are right in more ways than I sometimes care to admit. I understand what you were trying to relay to me and like I said,, point well taken. I tend to vent my feelings through this journal and in many ways I get more GOOD advice than I want to hear. Thanks for sharing yours and I DO appreciate anything that anyone has to say. I'm a decent man with a bit of a, (I hate to say it), "Mid life crisis" going on in my mind. I'm trying to work through what's really going on inside me and work it out to the best of my ability. I'd love to have a relationship that works as well as yours but things are just at a low at the moment.(or maybe just for me) Thanks again and don't let my rants scare you away.
Eh, you don't scare me, big boy!
:-P
I just try not to have my first or second contact with someone be me telling them what for, gives the wrong impression, or maybe the right one, but without the full appreciation for the whole charming package.
Anyway, Turn around is fair play, my dog has a blog, and who knows, maybe I will get my own. So if you want to chip in your two cents on my rants (or rather my pet's)
http://itreallyisadogslife.blogspot.com/
we hang out over here.
I am that girl. Well, not your girl.
It's a wierd thing. I know he wants me and I WANT to be happily married and have good sex but I just push him away in subtle ways like doing my nails right before bed (can't smudge them).
we've been married a long time and that "new romance" /lust is gone and I guess we don't take the time to court each other. I don't cultivate those loving intimate feelings for him, I am to busy counting the mistakes he's made lately.
So I guess what I'm saying is you deserve better. I know my husband does (great, now I'm guilty too... know what I mean??)
I don't have answers for you. Sometimes I think people shouldn't be married and I hate that feeling.
Same boat over here!
I want to be desired and wanted, but I'm not. Been married 4 years, lived together 10, but though he's always been this way, it's increasingly gotten worse because I quit trying to get his attentionn (tired of being the initiator) and sometimes he outright refused. No, it has nothing to do with kids, although that CAN make you tired. Our bi-monthly sex runs like clockwork, he says the same thing...it's been too long.....why are you so amazing....I love it....etc...then, afterwards when I ask him why he doesn't want it the rest of the time, he says he doesn't know, he's busy or tired or whatever. He has a low sex drive, always has, and I firmly believes he prefers handling himself for one reason or another. I don't have answers. If you figure it out, let me know. I am at the point now where if he does try to touch me, it pisses me off and I want nothing to do with it.
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